Every week, a new headline screams triumph: “India’s 113th Unicorn!”, “$1B Funding Round!”, “Startup India Reaches 200K!” The media feast is endless, the champagne flows, and the ecosystem swells with pride. Yet, behind the ticker-tape lies a sobering truth: 90% of startups fail within five years, 11,223 shut down in 2025 YTD (up 30% from 2024), and only 14 of 113 unicorns are profitable (Tracxn 2025). The narrative is bloated with vanity—1.2 billion app downloads, $7.7B funding in 9M 2025 (down 23%)—but starved of substance: 0.64% GDP R&D, 15% patent commercialization, and 55% skill gaps in deep tech. As X founders lament, “Headlines don’t pay salaries—results do,” this 1,050-word takedown—backed…